We Do Not Take Kindly
by baichan
Summary: N. Italy relapses as the mafia, and S. Italy the pope. Poor France who has hurt N. Italy is scarred for life, and everyone else is really confused. Ger/Ita Spa/Mano


When N. Italy woke up that morning he knew what was happening.

He was relapsing into his stage as a mafia boss.

He rolled over and snuggled more into the chest of his German house mate and let out a 've~'.

Secretly though he was smirking.

There _was _a world meeting today.

When Spain woke S. Italy up he didn't expect him to go down on his knees and pray.

Yet as the Italian whispered out his last lines in prayer the Spaniard knew what was happening.

It had happened before.

S. Italy was relapsing as the Pope.

When Germany made N. Italy get up, N. Italy acted innocent and stupid. The Pope made him act like a lamb.

Cute, innocent.

Oh, but the mafia made him so much more dangerous.

He put a gun in his waist band and a knife in his boot when Germany wasn't looking.

S. Italy wore his robes that would usually be worn in the Vatican and rosary beads. He grabbed a satchel and put a bible in it.

S. Italy wore a serious look.

When Spain tried to leave the house S. Italy hit him upside the head.

"Pray you foolish boy!"

At the world meeting every country, except Spain S. Italy and N. Italy of course were surprised when S. Italy came wearing white church robes and well not cussing anybody out.

Then of course for some reason N. Italy was wearing a fedora.

God those Italian's are weird.

Before the meeting started S. Italy demanded they pray.

'Lord save our souls...'

After 5 minutes in which if anyone moved S. Italy would smack their hands with a ruler.

(America, France, and Prussia)

The other countries were surprised when N. Italy and Spain managed to stay still.

Hell, N. Italy had his own rosary beads.

S. Italy stopped in front of N. Italy.

'May the Lord save your soul.'

After that S. Italy was silent, but his eyes stayed on N. Italy.

Who was silent except for the occasional 've~'.

When France stood to talk, N. Italy stood too.

Everyone looked at him as he cleared his throat.

"Big brother France!~ You have debts to Italy that have yet to be paid!~"

"Ah, well yes."

"Like the paintings!~"

"Well Feli."

"Don't call me that." said N. Italy in a surprisingly stern voice. "You will only call me Feliciano or N. Italy until I receive either my paintings or reimbursement in money."

"Ah, well you see Italy-"

"Let me guess, you don't have them, or more like you don't want to hand them over." N. Italy said in light tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Well, Oui."

N. Italy started laughing.

It wasn't light giggles, or an innocent, musical laughter.

It was an almost hardy laugh.

"Well don't worthy big brother! There are _other_ ways to pay." N. Italy said with a creepy smile.

He approached France and took out the gun in his waistband.

"I could shoot your knees so you can't walk!~"

France's face went pale, and the other countries became very alarmed as N. Italy started twirling the gun around his fingers.

"Aw but then I still wouldn't get my paintings.~"

He tucked the gun back in his waistband.

He bent down and took the knife out of his boot.

"I could always cut off a finger... Or five!~" Italy said cheerily.

France held his hand closer to him.

"I-I'll bring the paintings!" France cried out as N. Italy started to run the knife lightly over his hand.

"Ah! Great! But make sure you do or..."

N. Italy runs the knife lightly over his neck before slamming it to the hilt into the map pinned on the wall, right into France.

"Don't give me more reason to hate you France, I could kill you. With. No. Regrets." said as he pulled the knife out and plunged it into France on the map with the last three words before putting it back into his boot and sitting back into his seat.

France sat back into his seat, cradling his hand and shaking.

Germany looked at his Italian lover, visibly shaken by what had just transpired.

"Are you okay Italia?"

"Si."

"Will you tell me why you are acting like this?

Every nation was listening.

"The mafia does not take kind to unpaid debts."

"The mafia-? Oh."

All the countries understood, a phase, a certain part of there country, anything with their nation could affect them.

Some were just scarier then others.

After S. Italy took N. Italy out to pray for the Lord to forgive his supposedly 'unforgivable sins' after such unholy behavior in a peaceful place.

Spain kindly explained to them that N. Italy is a little too unstable too handle the mafia, and S. Italy is a little too strict.

It made a little sense to the others.

That was why N. Italy was never mad, and was so innocent. The Vatican, the Pope, the church in general made him more... Lax, or rather less likely to kill someone.

The mafia although made S. Italy angry all the time settled better in him than it dd for S. Italy.

It also gave him more room for his own personality.

"Will they be back to normal soon?" Germany asked.

"Si! They should be back to usual in the morning. Be careful with N. Italy, he probably won't try to hurt you, but, he _is _unstable."

"Right."

France sighed in relief, maybe he won't have to return those paintings after all.

Germany looked over at France.

"Hey France, why does Italia hate you so much anyway?"

He looked uneasily at the multiple stab wounds in the poor map pinned to the wall.

"Oh that, probably has to do with Holy Rome." France said.

"Who?" Germany asked.

"Oh right you never met him. Well he was N. Italy's first love. I killed him." France said chuckling awkwardly.

Prussia looked at him.

"No wonder he hated you."


End file.
